Every Grandmother is the head of each family. Some guys may think that they are head but I beg to differ. There is a reason why there is Grand in front of mother and grandfathers just like in any family, woman normally wears the pants. As mentioned a few blogs ago my sister stayed with my grandmother. My grandmother raised her. My Grandmother not only raised her but also raised my cousin Lisa. Imagine that both my sister and cousin were with my Grandmother for the same reason.
If you recall, my little brother's father was touching my sister and my sister was kicked out and thus stayed with my Grandmother. I didn't know why at the time but I found out as I got older why my cousin stayed with my Grandmother. Guess we have tons and tons of sick people in the world. My Aunt met this guy and she was with him for sometime before he started touching my cousin. My cousin complained and thus she ended up with my Grandmother. I have yet to understand why any mother would pick a guy over her child.
My Grandmother wasn't very innocent. She didn't touch anyone but I found out after her death that she covered up the fact that my uncle also touched my cousin Lisa. I never asked my sister if my uncle touched her but I will ask her the next time I see her or talk to her over the phone. I didn't realize when I was younger just how dark my family was. Why in the hell is any man touching an underage girl. I can only imagine how many arms I would break if anyone touched my daughter in a sexual way. I can't understand why or how a man would get off by a little girl? My Uncle offered my Cousin Lisa weed if she stayed quiet. She didn't and told my Grandmother. My Grandmother slapped her and told her not to say anything like that about her son.
Anyway, so both my cousin and sister stayed with my Grandmother in Daily City. We were all screw ups. I was always locked up. My sister was on drugs. My brother is retarded and my little brother well, he didn't do anything wrong. He always tried to do the right thing. All of us looked up to my Grandmother. What ever she said goes. My Uncle was the kind of show off type person and his kids were the same way. While we were homeless on the street. He had enough room in his house but didn't want to help us out. My uncle had everything. He had money, nice things, he gave his children everything and they showed off as well and made sure we felt like crap because they had so much. My Grandmother loved my mother though but I can't tell if she loved me.
My uncle's kids dressed nice, had great things, no holes in the shoes. LOL. Yup, I wanted what they had. My mother would take me over his house to get a spanking when I was acting bad. I never understood why she did that. I have yet to ask mom that question. As we got older, things changed for a few of us. My strong Grandmother who stayed in Daly City developed Alzheimers. It started off that she was scared of everything. She started to get scared of every sound. My Uncle moved out of his house and moved in with her. My Uncle entire family moved in.
They treated my Grandmother bad. I mean very bad and because I've always been outspoken, I told them so. After about 2 months my Grandmothers condition got worse but she still knew who she was, she would just cry all the time. When I would visit, she would just run to me and hug me as if to say, please help me. My Uncle found a place for my Grandmother which was one block away from my mom's house. I thought to myself, - Mamma (that's what we called her) can't take care of herself. What if she burns down the house? I guess someone finally listened to Mr.Know it all because she moved in with my Grandmother. My mom was taking care of 3 of my sisters kids. My sister had a total of 5 kids. None was with her and now my mom was taking care of my Grandmother.
This strong woman was a shell of her former self. She would cry and cry. I felt so powerless. I wasn't staying with my mom but would visit my Grandmother every chance I got. I kid you not, there was one time were my Grandmother was in my Arms for at least 5 minutes without letting go and when she did, she held on tight to my hand. My mother finally could not take care of her. It was causing my mom to much stress. My Uncle of course took over her house in Daly City. My Grandmother was renting but she did have life insurance. There was tons of money that my Grandmother had. Her wishes were if someone happened to her all her kids would split the money. My Uncle did two things. First he arranged that my Grandmother be placed into a home. This was against her wishes but he did it anyway. Two - comes a little later.
Grandmother was now in a home. Maybe it was the best thing since I guess nobody could take care of her. Her condition got worse. She started to forget who everyone was. Before she totally forgot everything my Uncle went to the home and here is number two. He had a form with him that gave him total control over her insurance. Doing this cut out all my other Grandmothers Kids. My mom was cut off. My Aunt was cut off. My other Uncle was cut off. The way insurance works, you can take money if you wish from the insurance. He did just that and purchased his wife and his kids everything from cars, clothes, and jewelery.
He stole her money to again give his family material items. By this time though our lives had changed. Well some of us. I owned my house and had a great job. My sister of course was and still is on drugs. My Brother is a Police Officer in Hawaii. My retarded brother, well let me say his name. His name is Mario. My brother Mario married and had two kids. He didn't have it easy after he left my mom but I'll share that story after I'm done with Mamma. There is something you learn as you age and that's how to control your money. My Uncle loved Material so much that he had so much debt. My uncle's kids weren't doing very well. Both are drop outs. Both got into hardcore drugs. One stays in Vegas and from what I was told sells herself in order to support her drug and gambling habit. The other stays with his father at 37, no job, no money, no life and steals in order to support his habit.
Interesting isn't it. We were told all our lives that we were nothing and would amount to nothing. My how things have changed!!! I wish I could say that I feel bad for them. Truth is I don't. I don't feel bad at all. They did wrong not only to myself and mother but to Mamma who by this time didn't even know who anyone was. Imagine looking into you loved ones eyes and they don't know you. I would visit saying Mamma it's me. She didn't know who I was. A few years went by before my mother received the call that she passed away. My mom was very very very close to Mamma. More so than her other kids. When my mom called and told me the bad news that my Mamma passed away I didn't know if I should hurt for her or for my mom because my mom couldn't stop crying and wanted to die along with her.
I didn't flip out like I did when my father died. I was more hurt seeing my mom in so much pain. Alzheimer's is scary. People don't waste each day. I've said this many times that every second, minute, hour, day, week, month, and year that goes by is another second, minute, hour, day, week, month, and year that we cannot get back. Each of us have internal clocks that are ticking away. From the minute we are born the time starts. My Grandmother was very special to me and my mother is the only one I have left since my father passed away. Spread Love and don't focus to much on Hate. I hated what my Uncle did. I hated the fact that he took her money and when she died, he didn't have any money for the funeral. He had to borrow from the other kids because he spent all Mamma's money on his kids. What a guy huh!!!
In this story I mentioned my cousin Lisa and how she was touched by my Uncle. I found out from Lisa last year just how dark our family secrets can be....Everything from my Sister molesting a little Girl, to the possible identity of my real father. From my cousins secret about my Uncle all the way down to my Aunt and what she was hiding. I have a screwed up family. I'm so so happy that at least my family in terms of my wife, sons, and daughters are growing up normal. So there you have it. Here is a Video of my Mamma......I didn't think I would yet cry again. My mother in the video is the one you hear crying and saying mommy. She is the one with the glasses. http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3671962814676983281&hl=en
This is my thoughts for today. I want to thank all of you for being apart of my life and allowing me to share it.
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