Ouch that hurt is just what I thought when I sliced myself. I ended up in the hospital again where they took care of me. I missed the vein but I thought I had it based on the amount of blood coming out . The only reason the ambulance came was because someone saw and someone called. There I was again being asked questions and off I went again for yet another week.
I yet failed again. In all, I attempted suicide 5 times and the only time I came close was when I overdosed on cocaine. When I was 26 I wanted to find out what happened to me when I was younger. What did I have that made me loose all my memory. I ordered a copy of my hospital record. It was weired seeing how many times I was in the hospital and what they said about me. The slicing myself, well they said I got into a fight.
I don't want to make everything seem as if it was all drama. During this time at the age of 15 I met this girl who was to become my future wife. She was 12 years old. We met through a friend and when our eyes made contact, I kid you not it felt like there was a connection. Weird thing is I met her before when she was 9. I didn't remember I did. She told me that I was her first kiss. I was saying to myself, Oh well maybe this was just another memory I lost but there we were together again I guess. I was 15 and she was 12. I wish I could say that it was all fun and games but it wasn't. I still had issues but by this time I got involved into gang life. Like Father, like son is the expression and in so many ways I was heading down the same road. I got into drugs, I got into heavy drinking and all this time the girl that I met stayed with me and even started to do the same things as I did.
I got her into smoking. I gave her drugs. I was killing her. I called us vampires because we only came out at night. My drug usage wasn't to the point where I was hooked. I wish I could say the same about my sister. After my father died my sister's life changed as well. She became a drug user and addict. It got so bad for her that she sold herself to buy drugs. What a life but my life wasn't as bad but not better. I became very abusive toward my girlfriend at the time. I talk about this now because I was repeating the cycle. My father hit my mother and thus I became my father. I don't remember much but even her friend stated that one time I had her by the neck. It was scary. There I was in and out of YGC (youth guidance center) which is a jail for the underage for all things that I did. I wish I could post everything that I've done in my life but trying to make a long story short as best I can so that you can understand where I was and where I am now. I was turning 18. My girl was still with me even after all the abuse I gave her. I remember the day she told me......
Your going to be a father.........More on this later.
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