Tuesday

Hello world. I wrote about this before and I guess its a good time to bring it up again. It's that word that those who wish to excel in life all wish to be. Perfection. For parents wishing to be perfect, please look in the mirror because that is a goal that you can never reach without Jehovah. Perfection.

I've watched interviews in which Actors would say their goals are to be perfect in everything they do. Parents who put so much pressure on their children to be perfect. Your report card must be an A at all times or you are grounded. Should we expect perfection from our children when the world isn't perfect?

PERFECTIONISM—the belief that one has to be absolutely perfect in everything he or she does—afflicts the thinking of many youths.There’s a big difference between the healthy pursuit of excellence and the unhealthy striving for an impossible ideal. People who strive for excellence may have a strong need for order and organization and high expectations for themselves, but they also accept their own mistakes and have positive ways of coping.

Perfectionists, on the other hand, live in a constant state of anxiety about making errors. They have extremely high standards.Does that describe you? Is your parents making you feel this way? If your standards are impossibly high, you can easily become immobilized. You may find that you avoid doing anything new. Or you may tend to put off doing important things because you are afraid you will fail. You may even feel inclined to reject anyone who fails to meet your standards, and you may find yourself friendless.

If the above is in any way true of you, consider the Bible’s words at Ecclesiastes 7:16: “Do not become righteous overmuch, nor show yourself excessively wise. Why should you cause desolation to yourself?” Yes, a perfectionist can “cause desolation”! In fact, perfectionism has even been linked to such life-threatening eating disorders as anorexia nervosa and bulimia.

How can I stop trying to be perfect? Admittedly, changing one’s thinking in this regard can be challenging. But with God’s help, it can be done. Let us look at God’s view of perfectionism. First of all, is it possible for you to be perfect in the absolute sense? Not according to the Bible, which says: “There is not a righteous man, not even one. All men have deflected, all of them together have become worthless.” Thought-provoking words, aren’t they? They indicate that anyone who tries to be absolutely perfect is going to fail. Any Parent who expects perfection from their children are going to fail.

Consider the apostle Paul, who obviously was an outstanding example of spirituality. Yet, even Paul couldn’t serve God without error. He confessed: “When I wish to do what is right, what is bad is present with me. I really delight in the law of God according to the man I am within, but I behold in my members another law warring against the law of my mind and leading me captive to sin’s law that is in my members.” It was only with God’s help that Paul could be faithful as a Christian.

Fortunately, God neither demands nor expects absolute perfection from any of us. “He himself well knows the formation of us, remembering that we are dust.” Only in God’s new world will humans finally reach the state of perfection.

Paul wrote that “love is kind.” Parents who are truly kind will discipline their children in a consistent manner. By doing so, they imitate Jehovah. “Whom Jehovah loves he disciplines,” wrote Paul. Please note that the type of discipline referred to in the Bible does not simply mean punishment. It carries the idea of training and education. What is the purpose of such discipline? “To those who have been trained by it,” Paul states, “it yields peaceable fruit, namely, righteousness.”

When parents kindly educate their children according to God’s will, they give them the opportunity to become peaceable, upright adults. If children accept “the discipline of Jehovah,” they gain wisdom, knowledge, and discernment.

What happens at times when parents expect perfection from their children is that the children often get frustrated and disconnected. They love and hate their parents. They feel they cannot communicate with their parents and often times can't wait till they become adults so they can leave their parents.

I left home when I was 14 years old. I could not stand my mother. Her rules and the way she punished me was to much for me to handle. I'm not saying that children should run away but in my case that was my only choice. I felt that my mother was going to kill me because of the way she abused me.

I grew up with issues. I hated my mother. In a way I'm glad I did go through all of it because I'm the opposite with my children. I love my children very much. I guide them as best I can and I ALLOW them to make mistakes so they can learn from them. I don't mean the kind of mistakes like " Dad I tried some Pot " No there are lessons in life that others have already shown you why you should not do them.

I don't mean mistakes such as " Dad I had sex with this girl " No Jehovah tells us not to fornicate. Those are mistakes that should not happen. I'm talking about life's lessons that if children are not allowed to learn then it's going to be a challenge for them as adults. Think about this. Do you know someone who became a wild child as soon as they hit 18? I do

Do you know someone who became alcoholics as soon as they hit 18? I do. It could be anything but I'm sure you know someone who as soon as they turned 18 changed from what they normally do. For the most part they go down hill. Not all children because some are more mature than others but since this system of things really has no rules, children may do everything their parents did not want them to do.

Use caution and keep in mind that we as parents must respect our children. We must listen to them. The world isn't the same as when we grew up. It's more of a struggle for them than it was for us. If we do that then we will find the communication between parents and children will improve. Till tomorrow.