Wednesday

I woke up last night thinking about my brother Jesus. I mentioned a few posts ago that he was on the one brother who didn't approve of me being a witness. I haven't spoken to him for about 5 years. Its not that I didn't try and work with him, it came down to him accepting what I believe in. Would I still talk to my brother? Of course that is my brother but he has to accept the fact that I'm not going to change. This is who I am.

My sister who has listened to me before and does accept the fact that I'm a witness does talk to me. We discussed my brother through email. I was very upset at my brother because when my Grandmother died he didn't even hug my mother nor look in her direction. My mother isn't a witness but my mother and brother don't speak as well. They haven't spoken to each other in about 7 or 8 years. I'll take you back.

My mother used to live in an area that wasn't considered a good area. It was infested with gangs, prostitutes, and drugs. My brother lived in a better area. He asked my mom to move in with him. All of us knew that it was a bad idea but my mom didn't. She was raising my sisters kids and thus she felt moving to a better area would help. So she moved out from where she lived and moved in with my brother. I of course helped. During the week my mother called me crying because she felt trapped. My brother wouldn't allow her to do anything. Let me repeat. My brother wouldn't allow her to do anything as if somehow my brother was appointed King.

By Friday my brother kicked my mother out. She had no place to go. All her stuff had to be placed in storage. She didn't tell me that she had no where to go because she didn't want to put me on the spot although I would have helped if I known.

My mother moved in with my sister but my brother stopped talking to my mother. After a few months my sister got married and moved out and left the place to my mom. The area she lived in was worse than before. After about a year she had to leave in fear for her life. Some of the people that lived in the building were gang members and because my sisters kids kinda being involved there was always trouble.

A somewhat knew what was going on and told my mom to look for a place and that I would help pay her rent. She declined and said she found a place in Oakland. So I thought all was well. She lived for more than a year in an Abandoned building that had no electricity or hot water.

When I found out I cried and told my mom to leave and come to my house but by that time she was getting ready to move in to where she is now. I gave her money to move in but the entire cycle of events wouldn't have taken place if (1) my mother didn't move in and (2) my brother didn't kick her out. When my grandmother died my mom was in so much pain. My brother didn't even hug her. I was very upset with my brother and told him but he stood his ground and didn't put his pride aside.

My brother and I were on shaky ground because I'm a witness. Now that you are brought up to speed, my sister had discussed my brother. I opened up and told my sister how I felt. It ended with my sister understanding that I'm not going to change and that I'm going to keep doing what I can to please Jehovah. If my brother cannot accept it then I guess its going to remain as it is now. I do hope one day he opens his heart and accepts. I'm not asking for him to be a witness, I'm just asking that he open his heart and maybe call my mom just to say " I love you "

Sad thing is my brother doesn't know my 6 year old son, my 3 year old daughter, my 1 year old daughter, and my soon to be born son Joshua. I hope he comes around. Anyway, I'll add more to this story.

Update on my Aunt: My cousin didn't allow them to take out the life support so my Aunt is still alive although they said she is going to die any minute and to top it off family that showed up don't like my mother so there was another shouting match at the hospital. I had told my mother to be the bigger person and walk away because there are other things going on that are more important.

Sigh.......I hope it gets better. Thank you all for listening.