Interesting

I was about to head to bed before I read what was posted. I couldn't help but feel sorry for all that is going on. I've always said and I'm sure I mentioned it several posts ago that most relationships go bad because of the man.

If the man is doing right by his wife, she will feel loved instead of pain and I mean pain in the heart. And you are correct. It's not enough just to provide material. You have to provide emotional. You can't pay a bill and say " See I told you I loved you, didn't I just pay your bill? "

Or this one I've heard. I wouldn't stay here and pay all of this if I didn't love you. Men sadly may view their wives as maids. They cook, they clean, they do everything and its sad that when you ask a man to do something, there is always an excuse.

If you ask a man to cook he will say sure I'll cook. First thing he does is pickup the phone and order pizza. That's how he cooks. There was a time when I did the same thing and I felt bad. I took action. My wife is a better cook than I am so she does all the cooking. If I have to step in, I do but she's better.

I help clean. The children help clean. Jesse helps around the house as well. So we all do our part because all of it cannot be placed on her shoulders. Several years ago I got into cooking because I wanted to help her in the Kitchen.

See our first Anniversary was like this. I didn't know how to cook but I wanted to surprise her. We were at her house. She left to go buy my gift I guess. I can't really remember what she did but she was gone and that was enough time for me to prepare food.

I set a table with candle light. She came home. It was in the room. I didn't want her to go into the Kitchen because of what I was preparing. Now, she goes in and she's shocked. Everything was perfect. I came in with food on the plate and it came out great.

We ate and the night was beautiful. Years later I told her the truth about that night. While she was out, I ran out to purchase food. I can't remember what I bought but I told her years later that I purchased food that it wasn't me who cooked.

I wanted to impress her. I think she knew but never said anything because of the effort I gave. I'm going to remind her of that story when we wake up later in the morning.

That flame never went out. I love my wife with all my life. My very soul. She feels the same toward me. Yes I mention that over and over and you know why? Because it's the cause and effect. My actions move her to action thus our flame never will go out.

When a man expects his woman to do everything then sooner or later she will lose interest. I wish I had to words to fix what ever is going on in that family of yours but sadly from what it sounds like. Dad needs to change and if he doesn't it's going to cost him the very thing that he loves and I have no doubt that he loves, he just isn't showing it and there is where the problem is.

You can't be right all the time.
No reason to try and out do everyone.
Material cannot replace love.
Doesn't hurt to say I love you.

There is so much more....but I have to sleep. Work in a few hours. LOL I have to provide you know. LOL

There is an excellent book called the two keys to family happiness that I tried to offer your dad when you guys were in San Jose.That book helped my relationship with my wife so long ago. It taught me the role of a man in the family. The role of a woman in the family. And what role Jehovah and Jesus plays in the family.

Two Keys.

The first key is love. Interestingly, there are different kinds of love identified in the Bible. One is a warm, personal affection for someone, the kind of love that exists between close friends. Another is the love that grows between family members.

A third is the romantic love that one can have for a member of the opposite sex. Of course, all of these should be cultivated by a husband and a wife. But there is a fourth kind of love, more important than the others.

In the original language of the Christian Greek Scriptures, the word for this fourth kind of love is a‧ga′pe. I mentioned this before. That word is used at 1 John 4:8, where we are told: “God is love.” Indeed, “we love, because God first loved us.”

A Christian cultivates such love first for Jehovah God and then for fellow humans. The word a‧ga′pe is also used at Ephesians 5:2, which states: “Go on walking in love, just as the Christ also loved you and delivered himself up for you.”

Jesus said that this kind of love would identify his true followers: “By this all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love [a‧ga′pe] among yourselves.” Notice, too, the use of a‧ga′pe at 1 Corinthians 13:13: “There remain faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love [a‧ga′pe].”

What makes this a‧ga′pe love greater than faith and hope? It is governed by principles—right principles—found in God’s Word. It is an unselfish concern for doing to others what is right and good from God’s standpoint, whether the recipient appears to deserve it or not.

Such love enables marriage partners to follow the Bible’s counsel: “Continue putting up with one another and forgiving one another freely if anyone has a cause for complaint against another. Even as Jehovah freely forgave you, so do you also.”

Loving married couples have and cultivate “intense love [a‧ga′pe] for each other, because love covers a multitude of sins.” Notice that love covers mistakes. It does not eliminate them, since no imperfect human can be free from error.

When such love of God and of each other is cultivated by a married couple, their marriage will last and be happy, for “love never fails.” Love is “a perfect bond of union.” If you are married or planning to get married you might ask, how can you and your mate cultivate this kind of love?

Read God’s Word together, and talk about it. Study Jesus’ example of love and try to imitate him, to think and act like him. Pray for God’s help to develop this elevated kind of love, which is a fruit of God’s holy spirit. That is the first key.

The second key. If two married people really love each other, then they will also have respect for each other, and respect is the second key to a happy marriage. Respect is defined as “giving consideration to others, honoring them.”

God’s Word counsels all Christians, including husbands and wives: “In showing honor to one another take the lead.” The apostle Peter wrote: “You husbands, continue dwelling in like manner with your wives according to knowledge, assigning them honor as to a weaker vessel, the feminine one.”

The wife is counseled to “have deep respect for her husband.” If you want to honor someone, you are kind to that person, respectful of that one’s dignity and expressed views, and ready to fulfill any reasonable request made of you.

Those who wish to enjoy a happy marriage show respect for their mates by “keeping an eye, not in personal interest upon just their own matters, but also in personal interest upon those of their mates.” They do not consider what is good only for themselves—which would be selfish. Instead, they consider what is best also for their mates. Indeed, they give that the priority.

Respect will help marriage partners to acknowledge differences in viewpoint. It is not reasonable to expect two people to have identical views on everything. What may be important to a husband may not be as important to a wife, and what a wife likes may not be what a husband likes. But each should respect the views and choices of the other, as long as these are within the boundaries of Jehovah’s laws and principles.

Further, each should respect the dignity of the other by not making that one the object of demeaning comments or jokes, whether in public or in private or in front of the children.

Love of God and of each other and mutual respect are two vital keys to a successful marriage. Two keys. I hope and pray that things change. I hope that their hearts open toward each other before its to late. I feel that the end is near....