Thursday

I tried to come back to update but just couldn't. I went right to bed. I wasn't feeling very well but I'm at work today. Keeping my distance from others. No I don't have swine or anything. I have a sinus infection it hurts badly but I'm trying to get through the day and sleep when I get home.

One of things though that was brought up was a married couple who are very young. The husband mentioned his issues to me that he had with this wife. I listened so I can offer advise since my wife and I started really young.

Looking back at our relationship and listening to the issues in his relationship, it more or less sounded the same. First let me say that turning 18 makes you an adult yes but in order to be an adult, you must act like an adult. When an Adult who is more mature and experienced offers advise, don't be so defensive. Just Listen and see if it applies to you.

Every relationship in order to succeed must have trust. You of course must have Love but you must also learn how to respect one another. How to speak to each other shows just how much you respect one another.

One of the things that helped me and my wife was reading and applying the book called " Two Keys to Family Happiness "

The first key is love. Interestingly, there are different kinds of love identified in the Bible. One is a warm, personal affection for someone, the kind of love that exists between close friends. Another is the love that grows between family members. A third is the romantic love that one can have for a member of the opposite sex

Of course, all of these should be cultivated by a husband and a wife. But there is a fourth kind of love, more important than the others. In the original language of the Christian Greek Scriptures, the word for this fourth kind of love is a‧ga′pe. That word is used at 1 John 4:8, where we are told: “God is love.” Indeed, “we love, because God first loved us.”

A Christian cultivates such love first for Jehovah God and then for fellow humans. The word a‧ga′pe is also used at Ephesians 5:2, which states: “Go on walking in love, just as the Christ also loved you and delivered himself up for you.” Jesus said that this kind of love would identify his true followers: “By this all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love [a‧ga′pe] among yourselves.”

Notice, too, the use of a‧ga′pe at 1 Corinthians 13:13: “There remain faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love [a‧ga′pe].”
What makes this a‧ga′pe love greater than faith and hope? It is governed by principles—right principles—found in God’s Word. It is an unselfish concern for doing to others what is right and good from God’s standpoint, whether the recipient appears to deserve it or not.

Such love enables marriage partners to follow the Bible’s counsel: “Continue putting up with one another and forgiving one another freely if anyone has a cause for complaint against another. Even as Jehovah freely forgave you, so do you also.” Loving married couples have and cultivate “intense love [a‧ga′pe] for each other, because love covers a multitude of sins.”

Notice that love covers mistakes. It does not eliminate them, since no imperfect human can be free from error. When such love of God and of each other is cultivated by a married couple, their marriage will last and be happy, for “love never fails.” Love is “a perfect bond of union.” If you are married, how can you and your mate cultivate this kind of love? Read God’s Word together, and talk about it. Study Jesus’ example of love and try to imitate him, to think and act like him. Pray for God’s help to develop this elevated kind of love, which is a fruit of God’s holy

If two married people really love each other, then they will also have respect for each other, and respect is the second key to a happy marriage. Respect is defined as “giving consideration to others, honoring them.” God’s Word counsels all Christians, including husbands and wives: “In showing honor to one another take the lead.”

The apostle Peter wrote: “You husbands, continue dwelling in like manner with your wives according to knowledge, assigning them honor as to a weaker vessel, the feminine one.” The wife is counseled to “have deep respect for her husband.”

If you want to honor someone, you are kind to that person, respectful of that one’s dignity and expressed views, and ready to fulfill any reasonable request made of you.
Those who wish to enjoy a happy marriage show respect for their mates by “keeping an eye, not in personal interest upon just their own matters, but also in personal interest upon those of their mates.”

They do not consider what is good only for themselves—which would be selfish. Instead, they consider what is best also for their mates. Indeed, they give that the priority. Respect will help marriage partners to acknowledge differences in viewpoint. It is not reasonable to expect two people to have identical views on everything. What may be important to a husband may not be as important to a wife, and what a wife likes may not be what a husband likes. But each should respect the views and choices of the other, as long as these are within the boundaries of Jehovah’s laws and principles.

Further, each should respect the dignity of the other by not making that one the object of demeaning comments or jokes, whether in public or in private. Yes, love of God and of each other and mutual respect are two vital keys to a successful marriage.

Love and respect are essential in another area of marriage, communication. The loving husband will converse with his wife about her activities, her problems, her views on various matters. She needs this. A husband who takes the time to speak with his wife and really listens to what she says demonstrates his love and respect for her.

Some wives complain that their husbands spend very little time conversing with them. That is sad. True, in these busy times, husbands may work long hours outside the home, and economic circumstances may result in some wives holding a job also. But a married couple need to reserve time for each other. Otherwise, they may become independent of each other. It could lead to serious problems if they felt compelled to seek sympathetic companionship outside the marriage arrangement.

The way wives and husbands communicate is important. “Pleasant sayings are . . . sweet to the soul and a healing to the bones.” Whether a mate is a believer or not, the Bible counsel applies: “Let your utterance be always with graciousness, seasoned with salt,” that is, in good taste. When one has had a difficult day, a few kind, sympathetic words from one’s mate can do much good. “As apples of gold in silver carvings is a word spoken at the right time for it.”

The tone of voice and the choice of words are very important. For example, in an irritated, demanding manner, one may tell the other: “Shut that door!” But how much more “seasoned with salt” are the words, said in a calm, understanding voice, “Would you mind closing the door, please?”

Good communication flourishes when there are gently spoken words, gracious looks and gestures, kindness, understanding, and tenderness. By working hard to maintain good communication, both husband and wife will feel free to make their needs known, and they can be sources of comfort and help to each other in times of disappointment or stress. “Speak consolingly to the depressed souls,” urges God’s Word.

There will be times when the husband is downhearted and times when the wife is. They can “speak consolingly,” building each other up.Marriage partners manifesting love and respect will not see every disagreement as a challenge. They will work hard not to be “bitterly angry” with each other. Both should remember that “an answer, when mild, turns away rage.”

Be careful not to belittle or condemn a mate who pours out heartfelt feelings. Instead, view such expressions as an opportunity to gain insight into the other’s viewpoint. Together, try to work out differences and come to a harmonious conclusion.

Recall the occasion when Sarah recommended to her husband, Abraham, a solution to a certain problem and it did not coincide with his feelings. Yet, God told Abraham: “Listen to her voice.” (Genesis 21:9-12) Abraham did, and he was blessed. Similarly, if a wife suggests something different from what her husband has in mind, he should at least listen. At the same time, a wife should not dominate the conversation but should listen to what her husband has to say. For either the husband or the wife to insist on his or her own way all the time is unloving and disrespectful.

Good communication is also important in a couple’s sexual relationship. Selfishness and a lack of self-control can seriously damage this most intimate relationship in marriage. Open communication, along with patience, is essential. When each unselfishly seeks the well-being of the other, sex is rarely a serious problem. In this as in other matters, “let each one keep seeking, not his own advantage, but that of the other person.”

True, every marriage will have its ups and downs. But when spouses submit to Jehovah’s thinking, as revealed in the Bible, and base their relationship on principled love and respect, they can be confident that their marriage will be lasting and happy. They thus will honor not only each other but also the Originator of marriage, Jehovah God.

In my marriage and I've often talked about it here, I tell my wife how much I love her. I try not to let a day go by without telling her. I listen to her and hear her feelings. She hears what I say and we work on any minor issues we may have. I can't even remember the last time we had a disagreement. We respect and love each other very much as if we were newlyweds.

Am I the only example? No of course not. There are many couples in the truth and those who are not in the truth who have been with each other for years. How do they do it in a world where divorce happens all the time?

Well, they apply the two keys.....They respect and love and listen and learn from each other.

In the relationship that I talked about in the beginning, I do hope that it works out between them but if they continue down this path, I can tell you that someone will get hurt and divorce may be in their future.....I sure hope not....Till tomorrow......