Thursday

Continuing on with the topic of Friends, I reviewed my notes and noticed that I didn't mention one important fact about those that I called my friends. All of them at one time or another made passes at my wife.

I almost forgot about that. There is a lot of truth in the saying that ‘the only way to have a friend is to be one.’ Sometimes persons feel it keenly when they are ‘left out’ of things by other young persons whom they may admire. Or they may have had friends only to lose them. They feel very hurt about this. Possibly they do not realize that friendship is a two-way street.

So we do well to ask ourselves: What am I doing to be friendly to others? How much sincere and unselfish interest do I take in others, and what do I do to contribute to their happiness and their good? What qualities am I cultivating that would make others feel that they would really like to have me as a friend?

The kind of friends you get depends largely on the way you go about trying to find them. Some seek to win friends by spending money on them, or by inviting them to share in the enjoyment of material possessions, such as a cd's, dvd's etc... True, this may draw some to you but notice what's mentioned in the book of Proverbs “Many are the friends of the rich person,” and that “everybody is a companion to the man making gifts.”

Yes, many people act friendly when a person spends his money freely. But when the money runs out so do the “friends.” Worthwhile friends cannot be “bought,” either by the use of material possessions, or by flattery or by always giving in to what the other wants. Any friend that can be bought is never worth the price, however much it might be. True friends are attracted by what you are, by your qualities, not by what they can get out of you.

So, while it is good to have a friendly disposition toward people, if you want genuine friends you need to be selective about those you choose as close and confidential companions. It is a basic principle of social relations that you tend to become like those around you if you associate with them long enough. Your choice of friends tells a lot about what kind of person you are or are likely to become. Your close friends are bound to have a “molding” effect on you.

Do you choose friends who are honest and decent, who are considerate, who have respect for God and his Word and who have the courage to do what is right? Or are you attracted by persons who pride themselves on being able to “outsmart” others, and who, in place of genuine courage, take blind risks just to show off? Are they ready to risk sharing in immorality, or to steal or take drugs and then brag that they are ‘getting away with it’? If they try to “hook” you into going along with them in something that can harm you, can they rightly be called “friends”?

Remember, if you are a close companion of such persons, you will either have to go along with them or have to disagree with them. To disagree with them will probably end the “friendship ” sooner or later. Why? Because they will look on disagreement as criticism or reproof. Usually such persons like to ridicule others, but they can’t take reproof themselves.

Proverbs 9:8 talks about that kind of person and then, in contrast, adds: “Give a reproof to a wise person and he will love you.” Real friends can talk frankly to each other and help each other to improve or to correct themselves where needed. When you have a really good companion who thinks straight and talks straight, you have a treasure beyond price. True friends are like diamonds—precious but rare. In sad contrast, false friends are like common stones—found everywhere. I'm a poet and didn't know it.

Many young people today, because of having no faith in a personal Creator or in his Word, take the attitude of “let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we are to die.” That was the way men of ancient times felt who were sentenced to fight wild beasts in the arena. They had no faith in Jehovah God and his power to give life again to those faithful to him.

As a teenager, you are really just getting started in life. So, do you want to adopt the attitude those condemned prisoners had toward life? After describing that viewpoint of just ‘living for today,’ the apostle Paul went on to say: “Do not be misled. Bad associations spoil useful habits.” (1 Corinthians 15:32, 33) Think about the truthfulness of that. If you seek close companionship with persons who think only of the present, you can be sure they will ruin your hopes and efforts toward gaining a lasting happy future.

Sometimes a young person may say that he or she associates with another of questionable ways and reputation so as to help that one. To want to help others is a fine thing. But if you go along with them in their selfish pleasures, how much help are you giving them? For example, if you saw a child in a mud puddle, would you take some soap out into the puddle and try to clean the child with it? You would only get yourself dirty as a result. You would first have to try to encourage the child to come out of the mud puddle before you could hope to do anything about cleaning him up at close range.

Actually, to accept a person with bad habits as a close associate will often have a bad effect on that person (as well as on yourself). Why? Because it may encourage him or her to keep on in the same way, feeling that he can always rely on your backing him up. Wouldn’t it be of far greater help to limit your association to times when you can really aid the person by pointing out good counsel and by inviting him to accompany you to places where that counsel is explained?

Think about that. Tomorrow I will go a bit more into this, till then have a great day.