Is Divorce the Answer?

I want out!!!

That statement describes the state of many marriages. Some may feel that their own marriage may be headed in that direction. If so be assured that no couple is immune to problems. In fact, the bible realistically acknowledges that those who marry are likely to have pain and grief.

Underscoring the truthfulness of those words, one team of researches describe marriage as the most risky undertaking routinely taken on by the greatest number of people in society. They state that what starts out as a relationship of great joy and promise can become the most frustrating and painful endeavor in a person's lifetime.

Think about Marriage and these points and see if it is characterized by one or more of these traits

1. Constant arguing
2. Bitter speech
3. Infidelity
4. Resentment

If your marriage seems fragile and its collapse seems imminent, what should you do? Is divorce the answer? You might tell yourself something like We've fallen out of love or we just aren't meant for each other or we didn't know what we were doing when we got married. Maybe we should divorce? Is that what you are thinking?

Before making that decision to end your marriage, think. Divorce does not always end life's anxieties. Often it leads to another set of problems. The bible does not treat divorce casually as many do today.

It states that Jehovah views as treacherous and hateful the frivolous putting away one's mate, perhaps with the motive of taking another spouse. Marriage isn't a joke. It's a permanent bond. Many marriages that broke up on trivial grounds could have been saved if partners had been more forgiving.

At the same time, the bible allows for divorce and remarriage on one ground which is sexual relations outside the marriage. If your mate has been unfaithful, you have the right to terminate the marriage. In the end you are the one who will live with the consequences so you are the one to decide to forgive a mate or divorce.

The bibles says that the the shrewd one considers his steps so even if you have scriptural grounds for divorce, you would do well to give serious thought to what that step entails. Four things that you should know about divorce

1. The problem of Finances. If a couple divorces, there will be a reduction in income. You may have to move because of this. If one mate gets the kids, can you take care of the kids and a new home?

2. Parenting issues. Those who share custody may face an additional problem having to negotiate with the ex-spouse on such issues such as visitation, child support, and discipline.

3. The effect of Divorce on you. You may have lingering feelings of anger and resentment over the ways in which your spouse mistreated you.

4. The children. Doesn't matter what a person says. This does hurt the children.

Can your marriage be saved?

1. Make a resolve. Agree with your mate that you will work together to restore peace to your marriage. Try writing your decisions on paper. When both you and your spouse are committed, saving your marriage becomes a team project.

2. Identify the problem. What is it that has interfered with your marriage? In one sentence, write out what you think is lacking or what you wish could change. Understandably, the problem you identify may be different from that noted by your spouse.

3. Set a Goal. Where would you like your marriage to be in six months from now? What specific improvement would you like to see? Write your goal on paper. When you have a clear vision as to what you need in your marriage, your goal will be easier to attain.

4. Apply Bible counsel. Yes there is rules sorry. Once you have identified your problem and determined the improvements you would like to make, look to the bible for advice. Its principles are timeless, and they really work. For example, the bible encourages you and your spouse to be forgiving. Indeed, the bible says that it is beauty to pass over transgressions. Even if at first your efforts seem futile, don't give up.