Empty Inside

Feeling Empty inside no where to to hide
Find shade to hide my eyes and cry.
Hoping that nobody looks at the tracks of my tears
Wishing she was here, wishing she was near
In my thoughts and heart she will be
Always with me till the day I can see
Her again to what was promised by him
To see her smile and be young again

This system and all the pain that many have felt
of losing a loved one in death over issues with health
I long for the day when nobody says I'm sick
I'm sick of living in a system where the cycle never ends
There is hope but the pain never changes
Life moves on familiar faces become strangers
Only cause my eyes are filled with tears
Can't see clearly but I can hear
Sadness all around cause of death and what it brings
I pray to Jehovah in a loud voice the pain is never ending

We are born into Sin, a battle we can never win.
We miss the mark of perfection.
It started with Adam & Eve & spread to their offspring
Sin entered into the world life everlasting
Lost but gained through the death of his son
Faithful to the end she (Becky ) can say she won
Like Jesus who conquered the world
She can say she conquered the world
Like Moses, Noah, and those faithful who conquered the world
Defeated Satan the beast who was hurled
From Heaven to Earth and we were all warned
That things would be this way our hearts would be torn
From those we lost but would see again
from our sisters, fathers, mothers, brothers, others, and friends
...................
to be continued

Empty

Feeling Empty inside no where to to hide
Find shade to hide my eyes and cry.
Hoping that nobody looks at the tracks of my tears
Wishing she was here, wishing she was near
In my thoughts and heart she will be
Always with me till the day I can see
Her again to what was promised by him
To see her smile and be young again

This system and all the pain that many have felt
of losing a loved one in death over issues with health
I long for the day when nobody says I'm sick
I'm sick of living in a system where the cycle never ends
There is hope but the pain never changes
Life moves on familiar faces become strangers
Only cause my eyes are filled with tears
Can't see clearly but I can hear
Sadness all around cause of death and what it brings
I pray to Jehovah in a loud voice the pain is never ending

I love you Becky. Thank you for all that you have done for me and my family and helping me to become the person I am today and for never giving up on me and believing in me that we can do it. I'm going to miss you very much. I just wish I could have told you how much I loved you. Thank you for listening to my talks and helping me with them. I'm so glad I got to see you one last time at the convention. I hope that in the new system when I see you, I can tell you these things that I'm typing today. I will miss you Mom. I love you.

Well

She died today. I'm breaking down and I'm still at work. I hope nobody can see me other than Jesse who is looking at me. I hate this stupid system.

System

A reminder of why we shouldn't invest any time and energy into this system of things. It doesn't seem like Becky is going to make it. It feels like I'm losing my mother. I'm doing things now to keep my mind busy but it's hard.

I'm working on my talk now but finding it hard to focus. I've been playing my guitar allowing the music to help my soul. I've prayed to give me comfort and I see the pain in Ernie's eyes.

I wish I had the power to chance all of this.

Sad

I remember the knock at the door. I remember clearly what she was wearing and how she looked and I remember how happy she was. I found out today, that my Spiritual Mother is in the hospital on life support.

I'm trying very hard to hold back my tears because I'm at work. I was called by her Husband Ernie who explained what happened. For about a week, she has had trouble breathing.

She thought maybe it was her Asthma. Ernie got her some medicine but yesterday she stopped breathing and feel back to the floor. Ernie called 911 and they told him what to do. The paramedics came and declared her dead because they didn't find a pulse.

They worked on her for 20 minutes and brought her back but she is not responding. They took her to the Hospital and she's on life support. She helped me come into the Truth and wanted nothing more than for me and my family to succeed.

It's very hard for me to type this without tears. I hope nobody comes to my area. There was a time where we were inactive but Becky never gave up on us and continued to help us. My heart is broken today. I don't know how else to say it.

Jesse is hurt. My wife is hurt. I love Becky very much and to think that we just saw her at our Convention. She got to see Joshua for the first time since he was born. Every time I had a talk, I always called her so she could hear it.

It hurts to think that she may not be there to hear my talk. I hate this system....

We were here last weekened!!!

I tried to get a better shot. I don't know if you can hear us singing but it was so uplifting that we walked away spiritually fed and blessed to be apart of our brother/sister hood. It was a three day convention that covered many subjects. Of course one of the things that has been discussed was the generation teaching.

The brother explained it well but for some reason I still do not understand it clearly. I have to pray and study to make sure I understand what is meant because it still goes over my head. I'm reminded of when Jesus, of when he was saying that he was the living bread that came down from Heaven and if any eats of this bread he will live forever. He said that he that feeds on my flesh and drinks of my blood has everlasting life. That's in the book of John starting at chapter 6 verse 48.

When some of his followers heard this they left Jesus. Jesus didn't mean his blood and his body but they took it that way. Many didn't understand what Jesus meant. Jesus turned to Peter and said to him " you don't want to go also do you? Peter answered this way. You have sayings of everlasting life. Peter didn't go even though he didn't understand at that moment.

Well it's like that when it comes to the Generation Teaching. I need to make sure I understand clearly so that I can explain it to others if asked. I also have a video of the Drama. The Drama happens on the third day and it's more or less play based on the bible.

This year was Walking by Faith and not by Sight. Anyway, enjoy the song.

Prince: How the rock legend turned his life around

Interesting Article about Prince: http://www.mirror.co.uk/celebs/news/2010/07/06/prince-how-the-rock-legend-turned-his-life-around-115875-22384807/

Just a few of my favs: