Sad

I kept thinking about today and what would come of it. I kept thinking about where I could put my thoughts down. I remembered my blog. The doctors wanted to talk to us in a room about my Grandmothers condition.

They said that by Saturday she could come home but that her issues aren't over. The can help her with the pain but cannot help what's going to happen. Her heart is failing. Her kidneys are failing. They said her kidneys were at 10 percent. They pretty much said that she can die at any moment meaning her heart can give out

My wife couldn't stop crying. I kept it in but while in the car alone on the way to work, I start crying. On the way home, I cry and in front of my boss I started crying. It's hard because Grandma has done so much for me so much for my family.

I had nothing and was a no good jerk back in the day and she accepted me and showed me love. She would purchase clothes and gave me food to eat. She bailed me out of jail before. I knew this day would come but I was hoping that it wouldn't come. I wanted to be blinded by the fact that people do die.

I gave her a big hug and held her in my arms. She told me to take care of the family. Then my wife told her our secret which was my wife is pregnant. We haven't told anyone but then Grandma said, I will live for you.

I broke down and had to walk out because the one thing I knew that you could not beat was this system of things. We don't have the power. She said I will live. I said to myself, yes you will in my heart.

I have to stop now, I'm starting to cry again.