Monday

This weekend I ended up at a funeral. My cousin had passed away from drinking Alcohol. Although I wasn't very close to this cousin the pain I felt because of her death was shown by my tears.

I watched as other gave speeches about her life and how they cried and at the same time laughed because of the way she made others laugh. I was touched by their stories. At one point they showed a slideshow and played music. Many broke down and had to walk out.

I was fighting the tears and kept my head down. It was very painful. To see that much emotion, my heart was in pain. I often wondered what I missed in terms of seeing my family. I realized that I did indeed miss my family very much. They are as much apart of me as I am of them.

My cousin Luis came up to me and asked if I was going to our other cousins house afterward. I wasn't going to go but I'm so glad he convinced me. I spoke with many Uncles whom I haven't seen in years.

These are my fathers brothers. A direct connection to my dad. I wanted to just jump in their arms. I felt as if I was a kid again and they were there to protect me. I have one uncle that looks exactly like my Dad. When we hugged, I didn't let go. I know he knows why so he held on as well.

He knows how much pain I was in when my father passed away. He was there and recalled all that I did that day. I mean, when was the last time you seen somebody pull someone out the coffin just to hold them.

My uncle and I talked and it was great. I spoke to many of my cousins and other uncles and aunts. I even met my Father's Aunt for the first time. When they found out that I was his child, they hugged me. They heard the stories and I guess the feeling of time that was wasted was made up that very day.

My Uncle told me about my two other sisters whom I never really met. The last time I saw them was when my father died. I saw a picture of her daughter. I almost cried. Then to introduce them to Jesse was great.

I hope that if I do pass from this world that my wife and all my kids will always know that I love them very much. I'm a proud father.

Another interesting thing that came up was the fact that they knew I was a preacher. LOL

Although they didn't ask questions, which was fine because there is a time and place for everything, the fact that they knew made me feel a bit better. I was ready to answer any questions they might have had but that day was about lupe my cousin who had passed away.

anyway, thought I would share.