Am I being mean? Well, I have to fill you in. On this blog I spoke of my sister and her issues. I spoke of her children often. This is why I ask am I being mean.
My mother was released from the Hospital after suffering a stroke. She was in the hospital for about three months. During her stay, she almost died twice but she pulled through.
It was amazing to see such family support from everyone. My brother even reunited with my mother and made peace. During that time, the question became who is going to take care of my mother when she is released.
Also during that time, people moved into my mom's house without her permission. My sister said that she will take care of my mom and quit her job and that my mom will move with her.
But, my mother would have to pay $200.00 rent a month. My mother said no, I will stay in my own house so my sister agreed and would take care of my mother. My mothers social worker would pay whomever to take care of my mother so my sister's idea was to quit her job and take care of my mother.
So the social worker sends out paperwork and visits my mother. After a month or so my sister how says she cannot take care of my mother. She needs to go back to work etc. In my mind I thought she said she was going to quit her job. So I contacted the social worker to find out if we can find someone.
The social worker told me sure, we can find someone but she's only approved for 3 hours a day. I was in shock. Three hours a day? The social worker said yes. There are two others that are old enough that live in the house that can cook, clean, and help your mother.
She then said, why should I pay if family can help take care of her. It made sense but then it hit me. I then realized why my sister said she can no longer take care of my mother. It was because of the money.
See, my mother would get more help if nobody lived with her but because both my sisters kids lived there, they figured they should help and I 100 percent agree. Let me take you back a bit. My sister has 5 kids. One boy and the rest girls.
My sister was never the responsible type growing up. She had her first boy Freddie. Of course my sister didn't raise him. My grandmother did. My sister had a girl, Vanessa, my sister didn't raise her as well. My sister agreed with her father, that he should raise her.
Then my sister had three more kids. One from a guy, I can't remember his name and two others from Joey. Now, do you think my sister broke the cycle on raising her own children? NO
My mother raised her three kids. Today 4/9 my sister who never had responsibility in her entire life was talking about putting my mother in a home. Excuse me? My sisters kids are grown now, in their teens and two of them live with my mom and one of them lives like two houses away or something but NONE of them want to help my mother.
Excuse me? My mother raised you and if it wasn't for her, you would have been in foster care because your own mother did not want you. Yes I said it. Your own mother could not take care of you. You were headed to foster homes until my mother stepped in and took all of you (sisters kids) and raised you.
Now that she needs you, you can't help? You live there with her. So this is where we are today, they want my mom in a home. I yelled at my sister and explained what I said here today. I told my sister you owe mom because in truth she does. My sister again is trying to back out of taking care of my mother. I have four children that I'm raising it's already hard for me.
Her kids are grown and two of them as mentioned live there but they said they can't help anymore. My mom got pissed because many moved in and don't want to leave. My mom wants peace.
My sister doesn't want to do anything anymore so I got upset. I told my sister, you owe mom because as soon as she was done raising us, she has to raise your children until she got into the state that she's in today. How dare you. You owe her.
Because they would only pay you 3 hours you cannot take care of her anymore? For my part, I'm guilty. I could do more and I will do more but as mentioned my kids are young and not grown like her kids. My kids live with me unlike her kids who still stay with my mother.
So I told my sister that my mother is NOT going to a home. She will come with me before I allow that to happen and I said that if she comes here with me. Don't expect to come over any time you feel like it.
See my sister has Hep C and maybe Aids and maybe TB but she doesn't act like she does. She is not careful and could infect anyone. So I don't allow her at my house. I don't allow her around my kids. She has never seen my youngest son.
I don't trust that if she has a cut on her finger, that she would put her finger in my sons mouth because she is careless in that sense. So no, she isn't allowed here and I told her if Mom comes with me, don't expect anyone to come over. She then said " Well you don't invite me anyway " I said exactly.
I was upset because I feel like she owes my mom and her kids owe my mom. My mom doesn't have much life left I'm sure but she wasted her time and life raising my sisters kids because my sister did not want them.
She selected having fun and taking drugs over her children. That to me is unforgivable. I left home when I was 13 years old and I never looked back. I took care of myself. I wasn't an angel by no means but I knew that when my son was born, my first son Jesse that I as a man needed to improve so he can be proud of his father and proud of his mother.
None of my kids were ever on welfare. I took care of them as I do today. So yes I am upset. My mom gets a check every month. That money disappears. The food purchased with that money, disappears. Their cellphones, my mom pays for it every month and everyone in that house does nothing in terms of paying my mother rent.
Like I said, if my mother comes in my house. She isn't paying anything at all. She isn't paying for their food, their clothes, their phones. If they cannot help her, then why should she continue to help them.
While my Mom was in the hospital. My sister spent much of my mothers money. I wonder if she will ever pay it back. My sister got a parking ticket one time for visiting my mom, she took the money from my mom to pay for her ticket. She parked there. It was her responsibility to pay for it but I guess History tells me that when a person is not capable of being responsible, why expect anything less....
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